ZoTash Conversations
by snowy poppy flower
Summary: Zoro and Tashigi's den den mushi conversations. Done with the help of my friend. If you want more tell me.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note :**I don't own one piece or there would be serious couples!

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"Bloop bloop bloop bloop," went the den den mushi, "hello?"

"Zoro?"

"Tashigi?"

"I miss you."

"I…uh … miss you too" Zoro said feeling unsure and _very_ unmanly.

"You felt very unmanly saying that, didn't you?"

"Ya."

"I could tell-- so what's new"

"We almost got into a food fight-- extra emphasis on the 'almost'."

"What happened?"

"Sanji went 'p.m.s' on us and said 'if one piece of food falls on the floor I will make you clean the whole kitchen with your tongue!'-- so no food fight"

"Well yesterday we had a food fight, which is why I didn't call."

"Did you throw any food?"

"I_ might_ have put jello down someone's shirt-- I might not have."

"Did you get into trouble?"

"I'm the sergeant major, I don't get into trouble-- I scream at people for getting into trouble."

"You're more evil then a…"

"Don't say it!"

"Fine [coughpirate[cough."

"I'm not afraid to hang up you know."

"You would never!"

"Would I?"

"Fine, you win."

"Thank you."

"Don't get too haughty."

"Why not?"

"Because I let you win."

"Ya, ok, whatever helps you sleep at night. I gotta go soon."

"Why?"

"Hina has been coming on to our ship to have 'meetings' with Smoker almost every day and she always has to interrogate me about who I talk to on the den den mushi."

"My crew does the same thing do you think we should tell them something that's not true like I'm talking to my cousin in Arkansas?"

"Two steps ahead of you-- your name is Barney."

"Thanks," Zoro said sarcastically, "should I call you Fanny?"

"Barney was the first thing that came to my mind!"

"Wait, was I named after Barney the dinosaur or Barney as in the big fat drunk in the Simpsons?"

"Barney the dinosaur."

"WHY?!"

"It has a green stomach," a knock can be heard in the background, "gotta go, bye."

"Bye, I'm calling you Great Auntie Fanny!" and with that Zoro hung up.

"But I don't even look like a Fanny, I'm not old!"

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If you like it and want more tell me.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: I don't own one piece. Thank you for the reviews.

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"Bloop bloop bloop," went the den den mushi.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Barney --Tashigi's boyfriend," Zoro said in the _nerdiest_ voice he could muster.

"Hey, it's me. Your'e never going to let me live it down, are you?"

"Never."

"I thought so.[sigh Tomorrow can it be my turn to call i've got to investigate something and I don't want Hina picking up and hearing that nerdy voice of yours --I would die of embarrassment!"

"Your'e embarrassed of me!" Zoro said with fake offense.

"Not of you, of Barney!"

"So what are you investigating?"

"I've been hearing these weird noises on my ship lately."

"What kind of noises?"

"Creaking, squeaking, and the occasional bang."

"Ok, Luffy _almost_ got the lock off of the fridge. That will be the 3rd time this week Franky had to fix the lock!" and in the background Tashigi heard someone scream with frustration.

"Who was that?!"

"Usopp-- he's been working in his work-shop all day."

"What is he working on that made him so frustrated?"

"I 'think' it might be a love letter to his 'friend' Kaya."

"What would give you that idea?"

"He asked Ero-cook for help."

"Do you think he has a chance with her?"

"I think she loves him."

"Is she totally out of his league?"

"Ya-- she's a skinny blonde, no nerdy features, and wants to be a doctor."

"The funniest thing is you are out of my league."

"Well we're both virgins-- lets call it even."(a/n all Zoro fangirls will kill me but I think Zoro is a virgin and please don't stop reading because of this if you tell me nicely I can change it.)

"But I'm not a virgin."

"Never mind."

"Zoro are you a virgin?!"

"WHAT'S THAT LUFFY? YOU NEED MY HELP?! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! Bye."

"Zoro is a virgin! I'll have to rub that in his face later."


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: I plan to write a story or stories connected to this story so if all goes as planned I will have one with my o.c. and Sanji done some time after Thanksgiving.

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"Bloop Bloop Bloop."

"Hello."

"Hi, Zoro."

"It's about time you called! Where was he noise coming from?" Zoro said with a bad attitude.

"I don't know, I was getting close to the scores when it stopped and I rounded this corner where I thought I heard the noise coming from and I saw Hina and I got all klutzy and went to salute and some how I tripped and landed on my face. Luckily Smoker called her in to his office so she couldn't ask me what I was doing."

"I'm pissed right now."

"I can tell, and you don't have to take it out on the one person who knows you're virgin."

"If you tell one person that I am a virgin, I'll purposely call at a time I know you have guard duty and if Hina picks up I'll introduce her to Barney"

"Ok, fine, what put you into such bad a mood?"

"Luffy hasn't been himself lately, and Ero-cook has been in a good mood. It pisses me off."

"Well, you probably get as much good food as he gives the women."

"No, now he's trying to poison us by giving us spicy food and he hasn't been flirting with Nami and Robin lately."

"What?!" Tashigi said in utter disbelief.

"Ya."

"And what about Luffy?" Tashigi said still shaken by what was told to her.

"He's just not himself he isn't such a pig at dinner any more. I also see him looking at Nami's trees and he doesn't steal any fruit, and he cares more about what direction we're going in; he'll ask Nami to look at the maps. He's just not himself"

"That _is_ strange."

"Ya, and he wants to talk to me after Chopper finishes with his exam."

"Exam?"

"Ya, he noticed how weird Luffy and Sanji were acting, and is making sure they're ok."

"I have a theory about why Luffy is acting like that."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling," she said tauntingly.

"Come on, tell me-I wont laugh."

"Which reminds me, YOU'RE A VIRGIN," and Tashigi bursts into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"That's it! I'm hanging up."

"Wait, Zoro."

"What?"

"I have to rub it in your face more. YOU'RE A VIRGIN!"

[click "Zoro? Zoro? He hung up."

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Please review and thanks to all that did. Sorry this chapter is boring.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Sorry it toke a little longer to get this out and keep in mined this happens before Zoro's birthday.

"Bloop, Bloop, Bloop."

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tashigi. Luffy told me what was wrong and there is no way in hell you

could guess what it is."

"Wait I'm getting a psychic signal-uhm…uhm… was it because, he likes Nami?"

"HOW COULD ANY ONE GUESS THAT!?"

"Well, is my psychic sense right?"

"Yes. Freakishly right. And how could you guess that?"

"Call it a girl's intuition."

"Whatever, that's still freaky. But what should he do?"

"………………………………………………………………………………."

"Tashigi, are you there!? Give me you infinite Great Antie Fanny wisdom."

"I was just thinking about it. Did Luffy tell any one else?"

"Everyone except for Nami. Lets hope that Chopper and Usopp don't tell her."

"Why don't you ask Robin to see how she feels about Luffy?"

"That's a good idea. I'll have to ask her to do that later"

"I'm just naturally full of good ideas. Wait, what was wrong with Sanji?"

"Oh ya, he just realized he's gay and now he has a boyfriend." (a/n: you are not going to understand what is going on until I come out with a connected story for this that will explain it.)

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Ya, we asked him why he was acting weird and he said 'Theo' so his boyfriend's name is probably Theodore or something."

"So he just said Theo."

"Just Theo."

"Why wouldn't they just call him Teddy?"

"I don't know."

"Tashigi, are you talking to your boyfriend?"

"No, we just finished."

[click

"That was the first time Tashigi hung up first! She ruined my record."


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: this happened on Zoro's birthday sorry that it's so, so, so, so, very, very, late.

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"Hello, is this Zoro?"

"Yes."

"HAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAAAY TOOOOOOO Zooooro!" Tashigi sang so over-dramatically that it took a minute to say.

"Stop it," Zoro said very unamused with the song.

"HAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAAAY TOOOOOOO ZOOOORO!"

"_Stop it!_" Zoro said starting to grind his teeth.

"HAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAAAY TOOOOOOOOO ZOROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"**STOP IT!**"

"HAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAAAY…"

[click "He hung up before I finished the song!!!! Ugh!!!!"[sigh.


End file.
